Teach Me to Quote in the Ways of The Office

A soon-to-be:

Wife
Teacher
Adult
Better Person

In a London Obituary

Today we mourn the passing of a beloved old friend, Common Sense , who has

been with us for many years.

 

No one knows for sure how old he was, since his birth records were long ago

lost in bureaucratic red tape.

 

He will be remembered as having cultivated such valuable lessons as:

 

- Knowing when to come in out of the rain;

 

- Why the early bird gets the worm;

 

- Life isn’t always fair;

 

- and maybe it was my fault.

 

 

 

Common Sense lived by simple, sound financial policies (don’t spend more

than you can earn) and reliable strategies (adults, not children, are in

charge).

 

 

 

His health began to deteriorate rapidly when well-intentioned but

overbearing regulations were set in place.

 

Reports of a 6-year-old boy charged with sexual harassment for kissing a

classmate; teens suspended from school for using mouthwash after lunch; and

a teacher fired for reprimanding an unruly student, only worsened his

condition.

 

 

 

Common Sense lost ground when parents attacked teachers for doing the job

that they themselves had failed to do in disciplining their unruly children.

 

 

 

It declined even further when schools were required to get parental consent

to administer sun tan lotion or an aspirin to a student; but could not

inform parents when a student became pregnant and wanted to have an

abortion.

 

 

 

Common Sense lost the will to live as the churches became businesses; and

criminals received better treatment than their victims.

 

 

 

Common Sense took a beating when you couldn’t defend yourself from a burglar

in your own home and the burglar could sue you for assault.

 

 

 

Common Sense finally gave up the will to live, after a woman failed to

realize that a steaming cup of coffee was hot. She spilled a little in her

lap, and was promptly awarded a huge settlement.

 

 

 

Common Sense was preceded in death, by his parents, Truth and Trust, by his

wife, Discretion, by his daughter, Responsibility, and by his son, Reason.

 

 

 

He is survived by his 4 stepbrothers;

 

I Know My Rights

 

I Want It Now

 

Someone Else Is To Blame

 

I’m A Victim

 

 

 

Not many attended his funeral because so few realized he was gone.

 

If you still remember him, pass this on.

 

If not, join the majority and do nothing

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